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NokDoc
09-05-2002, 11:53 AM
Doing Business:

> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
> You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and
> the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
>
> ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
> You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed
> company,
> using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
> execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you
> get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk
> rights of
> the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
> company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to
> all
> seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the
> company
> owns
> eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new
> president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance
> sheet provided
> with the release. The public buys your bull.
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
> of
> four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
> ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever
> cow
> cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
> once
> a month, and milk themselves.
>
> A BRITISH CORPORATION
> You have two cows. Both are mad.
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
> lunch.
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count
> them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you
> have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION
> You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
> storing them.
>
> A HINDU CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You worship them.
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
> employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported
> the numbers.
>
> A WELSH CORPORATION
> You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute

Nothing personal =)

NokDoc

:: sunny ::
09-05-2002, 06:49 PM
good business... hhehhehehe....:D:D:D

:: sunny ::
09-05-2002, 06:57 PM
ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for
a $2 item that she doesn't want.



FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Wildheart Baby
09-05-2002, 10:06 PM
lol, some very true statements

Why do you call your wife / partner dear - because they certainly ain't cheap

KingShip
14-05-2002, 09:44 AM
What happened to the pollock, do they all stand around and try to figure out what the cows are for?

My quote for the Day, "Say what your gonna do, and DO what you say your gonna do".

Later KingShip;)