Doing Business:
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
> You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and
> the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
>
> ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
> You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed
> company,
> using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
> execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you
> get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk
> rights of
> the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
> company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to
> all
> seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the
> company
> owns
> eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new
> president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance
> sheet provided
> with the release. The public buys your bull.
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
> of
> four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
> ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever
> cow
> cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
> once
> a month, and milk themselves.
>
> A BRITISH CORPORATION
> You have two cows. Both are mad.
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for
> lunch.
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count
> them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you
> have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION
> You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
> storing them.
>
> A HINDU CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You worship them.
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
> employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported
> the numbers.
>
> A WELSH CORPORATION
> You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute
Nothing personal =)
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